FRIENDS AND LOVERS minus THE IMPULSE FACTOR

For a long time I never understood the fine line that many people drew between friendships and dating/romantic relationships. They always believe that the two are complete and separate things. But then ,why the name boyfriend/girlfriend ? 

The suffix friend, at the end has already made certain the definition. A friend can be defined as somebody emotionally close, somebody who one trusts and is fond of, another  definition is  somebody that you know well and enjoy spending time with. 

If a boyfriend or girlfriend doesn’t fall under this category,you'll have to break it down to me like i'm a two year old cos I don’t know who does.

Sometimes you notice a strong friendship between a guy and a girl.To you and everyone that knows them, it is obvious that they have feelings, or at least care deeply for each other. When you tell either one of them, that they should take their relationship to the next level, the response usually is “we are too close”, “I’ve told him/her too much”, “it will spoil our friendship”. Does anyone see where I’m going with this?

You say you can’t date a friend, because they know too much about you!!! Exactly who then, do want to date!!!!, Someone that doesn’t know jack about you!!!

The irony of it, is that when one actually decides to date someone else, that was not previously a friend, they complain with one variation of, “he doesn’t understand me”, “we don’t seem to connect”, “she does not like to do the things i like”  NOW WHOSE FAULT IS THAT?

I don’t know about the ladies but guys are usually advised by their friends not to get too close with a girl they are interested in, because she would take you as a friend and you would be stuck in the Friendship Zone FOREVER. Sadly it's truly happens, sometimes , not totally the ladies fault. maybe  the dude losses :"the edge" or "mystery" that keeps him interesting on more than a platonic level, and he unconsciously plays the role similar to that of her female friends

Hence, why many ladies ignore the guy that has been there for them , the “nice guy”, who cares, but can never be anything more, and go for the quote “bad boy” who is more; adventurous,dangerous, mysterious , And as in any adventure, someone is going to come out with a few bruises and possibly broken bones, metaphorically, and sadly sometimes physically.

As defined earlier what exactly is a boyfriend or girlfriend; If they aren’t someone that knows you well and you enjoy spending time with.

I have always been of the belief and practice that if I really like a girl, I’d prefer to have a close friendship which would develop into a dating relationship by the time we both realize those feelings, and decide to elevate things. I ADMIT, It really has not worked out that way,still figuring it out, but i honestly still think it is better than ricocheting in and out of relationships every few months , engaging in an emotional and psychological traumatizing game of trail & error.

My point is , do we get intimate with a person before we actually get to know them as a person?

Who else would we be able to get along with than a friend?

Once again , don’t get this twisted, I’m not saying we should only date people that are already our friends, but why not develop a friendship with that person FIRST before opening our heart to them, and then later on start whining & sobbing about how the b*****d or b***h used,abused, then threw us away like a banana peel.

I think the problem with many of us, is that we fail to see what is right in front of us until it’s too late. I hate to use this analogy but I will anyway.

From the hit show,Dawson's Creek, take Dawson(James Van Ber Beek) and Joey(Katie Holmes),they’re best buds and are closer than close, both attractive , they know each other inside out and talk about everything. Dawson was lusting after the “forbidden fruit”(one that momma warned you about) girl, and failed to realize what he had all this time, until some else came and swept her off her feet, that’s when he started pining for her.

We too many times give in to the raw attraction we have to someone .

We guys, would probably be too wrapped up in the girls looks to think of anything else initially.

The girls, wrapped up in charm or charisma. We have not taken the time to discover WHO that person really is .

Like raw meat , which uncooked, is unsanitary,we often dive into romance without platonically sanitizing the person. Raw meat is good for Lions, but not for humans.

If we lack the patience to ;season it , marinade it and then cook it, before consumption, we may satisfy the immediate hunger , but the consequences of that choice will inevitably arise.

Using another food analogy. A meal which takes a few hours to cook, will always be more nutritious and satisfying, than a microwave dinner, which may look good, satisfy the immediate hunger, but ultimately is not really beneficial as it is full of artificial preservatives as opposed to natural and healthy ingredients.

Personally for me, the topmost thing that comes is CHARACTER.

 If she fails that test she could have Eva Longoria’s sex appeal, Janet Jackson’s smile ,Angelina Jolie’s lips and Shakira's body and I wouldn’t have a further thought.(Yes I know, you find that hard to believe).But many times we cast off restraints,and just think to our reasoning,"forget anything else, dude SHE’S HOT!!!” ,and i really can’t blame anyone. Self restraint over centuries of genetic programming, rarely wins and those that do forgo that opportunity, often wonder, hmmmm what could have been? 

But the results of entering a relation based purely and only on the synapses the person's great looks, fires off in our brains , rarely has chance of thriving. I've seen an 'Angel', switch to a screaming venom spitting Banshee, within a fraction of a second over a very trivial and petty issue.


Too many people may have nothing whatsoever in common, but the “I’m cute I think your cute, let’s get together”  seals the deal, which is enough for the first date. 

The next few dates will probably consist of making out( snogging), this will go on for a while and by the time they go all the way(home plate: fourth base,YATZEEE). They get bored and break up, the time of this break up varies , it may take between weeks or years but it's inevitable, one party or both suffering heart break. 

From that point either(or both) find a rebound guy/girl or they start all over again with a new person. It’s a vicious cycle that a lot of us needlessly put ourselves through.

Every relationship is about foundation, whether it be your normal platonic friendship, or family relationship or that with a romantic interest, it’s all about foundations.

British performer ,Kate Nash put it this way, “my finger tips are holding on ,to the cracks of our foundation”. 

Like any building that is built on a faulty foundation, it is all a matter of time before it comes caving in on you. When the waves come it's washed away like and the pieces lay strewn across the shore.

When the big bad wolf huffs and puffs, the house which; triviality,impulse,lust or chemical reactions based only on physical attraction built, would come tumbling down.

A relationship is a vehicle that carries the involved parties towards a desired destination. So picture a dating relationship started on impulse as a bullet train. Since no foundation was built , it moves from 0- 60mph within 4 seconds, and gains momentum .

Suddenly one party realizes the train is taking them in a direction that they do not want to go, and wants to stop the train. It's difficult to stop a bullet train that has gained momentum. A break up is slamming on the brakes and by the laws of physics (and Hollywood movies) there is only thing that can happen, that train is going to derail and people are either going to die or come out with severe injuries.

NOW If the relationship has built up momentum, from a  stroll , to a horse drawn carriage, to a car, both parties would have realized early if this was right for them. Let's face it , even marriages do not move at that bullet train speed.

The reason why many relationships fail is that they have faulty foundations. Foundations built solely on physical attraction and the way you 'feel' around them that can never last tough times and storms. Foundations, falsely reinforced by the physical activity that occupies time spent together creating drug like chemical reactions we get addicted to.

If making out ,and as a friend of mine puts it, “sack session” is ALL that takes up the entire time a dating couple spend together,

What happens the rest of the time?, or When your body is incapable of physical activity of that kind? What happens when the hottie , starts to look like the mom Cruella De Ville, or the Stud is more Homer Simpson than Adonis??

I admit, i honestly don't know what i'd do in that situation. Thus the reason for building a STRONG foundation beyond superficiality or just looks or how fun they are, personality does not often remain when facing adversity but character does. 

Those “feelings” you have are just hormonal neuro chemical reactions that would wear away with time, 

Then what!!! 

After all the making out and “making love” , the question is “What else do you have, that brings you together? That KEEPS you together? 

If some social, medical or political condition required that for an undisclosed number of months, your relationship must ONLY consist of sitting and talking , and the only physical contact allowed was holding hands. 

How long would you last? 

Would you be able to hold conversations and just enjoy each others company ONLY talking to each other?

TO BE CONTINUED

LIFE LESSONS FROM CLASSIC CARTOON CHARACTERS

Most of us grew up watching cartoons as children. The classic Tom and Jerry, beyond a doubt, has to be one of the most popular and generation bridging cartoons ever. The rivalry between the two  spanned over 50 years. Each episodes would begin with Tom scheming about how he could turn Jerry into a tasty morsel. But no matter how hard he tried, Jerry always found some way to escape, even after Tom had succeeded in swallowing him. 

In the Looney Toons cartoons, there have also been many similar rivalries. Elmer Fudd has hunted Bugs for many years without much success, but he keeps coming back to get that “scwewy” wabbit.

The constant hunt for the road runner by Wild E Coyote also has to be one of the most determined series of plots in cartoon history. He usually has a perfect plan, which should work by all logical means, but someway or somehow, the road runner always manages to get away. 

Sylvester is another popular character that has a similarly determined mindset for turning Tweety into his lunch, or sometimes he’s just minding his own business, but he somehow always manages to get into trouble.

What is the point of all this cartoon referencing? What do all these rivalries have to do with anything in life? Is there something that Elmer, Sylvester, Tom and Wild E Coyote all have in common? The answer is tenacity, and they all have it. 

Each one has a goal that they want to achieve, usually lunch. No matter how many times they get outsmarted, bashed, slammed into the side of mountains or squashed by falling anvils they keep striving after their goal, simply because they can see it in their mind’s eye. They always know what they want, and they are not going to let a few obstacles – whether it be the IQ of their opponent, the height of what they are striving for or the fact that what they are after is moving at a faster speed than what they can keep up with. They just find a way to do it

Consider The Road Runner, Jerry, Tweety, and Bugs Bunny to be the ultimate survivors. No matter what their hunters use to come against them, they always find a way to survive. No matter how many times they get trapped, they constantly find a relevant means of escape. Think about it, have you ever watched a Looney Toons cartoon, in which Wild E Coyote succeeded in completely capturing the road runner or that Bugs didn’t escape Elmer’s capture? No matter what the situation, they both exhibit their true nature. Bugs Bunny has the nature to survive at all costs and Elmer Fudd has relentless tenacity, no matter how many times he has previously failed.

Another group of cartoon characters I greatly admire are Top Cat (TC) and Yogi Bear. These guys are what I’d like to call, “The Original Kings of Hustle”. Top Cat is an entrepreneur, someone who brims with confidence and never allows anything to get him down. When he faces an obstacle he simply finds a way to overcome it. Whether it be a lack of money, assets or staff or occasional human obstacles in the form of officer Dibble, his brain always begins to work and he succeeds in overcoming the interference in some manner. Despite the fact that all of his ventures end up collapsing, he always keeps on trying, and the spirit within him never die.

The same goes for one famous Jellystone Park resident who is “smarter than the average bear”. He is the mammal that had exquisite taste long before Remy rat. Unlike the other bears that are satisfied with fruits nuts and berries, he longs for more, picnic baskets in particular. Despite all of the obstacles facing him, usually in the form of Ranger Smith who represents authority figures, or by his fellow bears who are satisfied with what they can rummage around, he wants something better. Usually there are things that people will tell him are not meant for bears, saying that they are out of his league and convincing him that he should stick to what he knows. Yogi never lets any of that veer his determination, and due to his extreme perseverance, more often than not, he succeeds.

Life is not very much different. Like the little kids playing or the cartoon character that falls down or is losing, we do not want to just give up and quit. There are always going to obstacles in our way. Even as babies when we gradually learned to walk, gravity was constantly an obstacle. We plainly fell down several (hundred) times, but that didn’t stop us from trying. Today we walk without even giving it a second thought, or remembering how difficult it was for us to learn.

Children usually fall down many times and get back up without even a second thought when playing “cops and robbers” or “tag”. Many of us have also played some form of sports and loved it. There is no doubt at some point in time that we lost a game or missed a shot, but we learned not to quit because of that.

Like those cartoon characters that kept going despite several knock downs or defeats, if we have a strong enough vision, we should not allow any failure to make us quit. Most of the successful people in history and in the world today have had so many failures that it’s a wonder that they kept on going at all. 

-Col Sanders the founder of KFC had about 1009 rejections for his recipe,

-Abraham Lincoln failed in getting elected for many different offices,

-JK Rowling received many rejection slips,

-Steven King threw away the manuscript for “Carrie”, because of so many rejections.

-Bing Crosby was written off by a casting director.

-Walt Disney was fired from a newspaper cause he had "no creative talent"

-Sylvester Stallone was constantly rejected as an actor cos "he'd never be a star" .

-Google's founders tried to partner with Yahoo. They were told to take their "little project" and come back when they finished college.

ARE YOU SEEING A PATTERN HERE? 

It’s not going to be easy, but no matter how many falling cartoon anvils get dropped on us, and no matter how many mountain sides we smash into – if our dreams are truly worth it, we should learn from our favorite cartoon characters, and never give up.

THE PATH OF YOUR DESTINY

It does not take a genius to figure out that you are never going to make a fortune by being an employee of a company on a salary . Even the CEO and President of companies can be fired and out of a job at anytime.

Many people have the fantasy of becoming celebrities,singers, actors ,sports stars, where we make millions every year and are living la vida loca. This is a very false path to wealth. We have all read the head lines. We know the story of MC Hammer , who was one of the most successful in his hey days, within the blink of of an eye he became penniless and declared bankruptcy.

Coolio ,was one of the most aired rappers in the 90’s ,Gangsta’s Paradise was a hit all around the world. Where is he now ?

We have known the stories of sports stars; Football players,Basket Ball Players who get injured ,are dropped or retire and from having 6 cars ,and 4 homes are now filing for bankruptcy and appearing on “has been” celebrity reality shows. They have lost their homes, their cars have been repossessed and all their assets have been sold to pay off debts and pay the tax man (Uncle Sam).

Only in the past ten years have we seen celebrities wised up and started making investments and diversifying their portfolio. As teenagers and college students, many of us have worn the Sean Johns, Roca Wear ,Wu Wear etc . People like Jay Z have invested in real estate, own restaurants. People like 50¢ (Fiddy) have branded them selves . We know the story of his $300 million vitamin water he has his G Unit shoes and clothing line, his record label, and many other investments.

I use theses names not to glorify or exalt what they do, but to point out a key thing with is INVESTMENT. Now, they could have sat down and waited for their royalty checks to come in, which would have been more than enough to live a very good life. They could have been satisfied with the comfort of only using their time and talent for money just like their predecessors . They however choose to be different they saw a chance to live larger than their dreams and they took it. They made investments, in companies,businesses and ideas. Which have made them 300% more fortune than they would ever have made performing and selling records.

Many of us will never become platinum selling recording artists, nor would we be paid $20 million per movie, but does this mean that we can not be financially free? Does this mean that we have to live a 9 to 5 life exchanging our time for money?

THANKFULLY NO.

There is a saying that goes

“Success is not something to be pursued, but something that is drawn to the person that you become.

There is another saying that goes

“You have got to build the man before you build the money”

I guarantee you that if you do the research of 99.9% of lottery winners all around the world, within 2 years time or a maximum of 7 years if they last that long ,they are completely broke, even worse off than they were before they won the lottery. Why is that? Because they do not have the right or appropriate mindset. They did not sit down to think of how this new situation would remain permanent, all they had on their minds was SPEND SPEND SPEND. Their minds were not changed despite their situation.

Look at it this way, imagine you find a house,one of those creepy old houses from the movies.One that has faulty foundations, shaky walls, creaking ceilings, and peeling paint. What if you paint that house ,with the most expensive emulsion paint, and get it looking brand new, the key word being “looking”. We have the house looking new, but it is still the same old house. It has changed on the outside but not on the inside, and pretty soon it would return to it’s former state.

It is insanity to keep doing the same thing and expect different results. We can not have a 9 to 5 ,despite the bonuses, and the raises and expect to be wealthy. If we do not invest those salaries or bonuses instead of splashing out on a new car or suit when we get that extra cash we will always remain in the same financial situation.

If you speak to any millionaire or billionaire. If you speak to anyone that is financially successful and on their own companies. Whether it be Richard Branson,Donald Trump or Robert Kiyosaki , they all talk about one thing. Personal Development. They all are constantly reading books, attending seminars, listening to motivational messages. They have a constant thirst for knowledge and they spare no cost to get it. They are always up to speed with what is happening and do not waste time on mundane things like many of us do. Are any of these guys geniuses, no not according to MENSA ratings. CAN WE DO WHAT THEY DID ?, YESSSS.

We often worry and complain about our financial life, but very few of us take the steps to make it better. We wait for others like our bosses, family, or the government, to make that change.
Do today what others don’t, to have tomorrow what others won’t.

A formal education will make you a living, but self help will make you a fortune.

-Jim Rohn

For many of us , we constantly heard, go to school, get straight A’s if possible, pass SAT or A levels and get into University so you could land a good job, where they can have “job security” and get a pension to retire on.


Renowned business man and motivational speaker Jim Rohn says “Profits are better than Wages”.

Profits will make you wealthy, Wages will keep you surviving.

Many of those in paid employment , the job that you have means Just Over Broke, where there is more month at the end of the money. If the money you earn now is barley enough to cover all your bills and save just a little. Why on earth would that be enough to survive on when you retire!

The fact is that many of us We’ll think nothing of spending hundreds, on fuels for our vehicles, but very little on fuel for our minds?-Matt Morris(Author: 7 Secret to 7 figures &  The Unemployed Millionaire)

We would spend money on a suit, or a movie ,but can not spend a fraction of the cost to on a book to educate our minds.Yet we fantasize about wealth but are not ready to take the pains,take the necessary steps to make those things come to pass.

There is a plethora of books that we can learn from, only a click away at Amazon, EBay . Instead of buying music off i tunes that you would soon get tired of, buy a book. If you can not buy ,borrow from your local library. One thing i want to point out it that if you make the commitment to buying a copy for your self, that shows the dedication you have to change your life.

If you don't intend to start your own business, but wish to plug in, to an already established company, that can help you start on the path to financial freedom. you may want to consider a home based business.

Home Business or Network Marketing, has given financial freedom to more people, and created more millionaires than any other industry.


If you want to invest in one, do your due diligence and investigate which would work best for you.

investigate before you invest

Find a company whose products you can get passionate about and stay with for the long term partnership. A great team that can help you towards achieving your financial freedom.

There are many companies out there, travel, nutrition, telecoms and a variety of other products, each with it's own unique compensation plan.

If you are interested in searching for a home based business with a great team and plan. With a low start up cost ,you could radically change the course of your financial future.

You can take a look at this video http://www.myfortuneroadmap.com/   and once you make a decision to go for it you can sign up at http://www.harvest.lgnprosperity.com/ and get started to becoming your own boss.


Decisions decide wealth, make a decision today to charter the new direction of your future .

SEE YOU AT THE TOP

FINDING AND WALKING THE PATH OF YOUR DESTINY

The Encarta dictionary defines educating as the imparting and acquiring of knowledge through teaching and learning, especially at a school or similar institution.

Formal education is looked upon as the key to having a successful life by many people all over the world. Young people across the globe have it drummed into their ears by their parents, uncles and aunts “work hard, get good grades so you can go to university get a degree and get a good secure job”.

Thus being the reason that many students enter the university and go for medicine ,engineering , law or accountancy , because these are seen as the prestigious courses that can get you a high income job in strong companies and the like.

But is that really the only means or guarantee to success in life and career?

I believe that everyone is born with something within them , which is essentially “the goose that lays the golden egg”. There are several groups into which these can be classified. One group of people “the intellectuals” are natural readers, they love to absorb and disperse information they love to analyze. This group consists of the doctors, lawyers professors and research scientists, mathematicians etc.

Another group read less and do more, they are good with their hands give them a television that is inoperative and they would dismantle it examine it to find the problem and fix it, these are the the technical” .

Another group are those that come up with things from within themselves, I would call them “the creatives”, they are the actors, recording artists, sculptors, poets, playwrights etc.

A completely different group is “the athletes” , they are blessed with physical prowess and excel well above their peers in sports. An individual from the athletes group, can never find fulfillment if he is studying medicine in the university, he may excel but deep down he’s know there is something missing in his life.

There is the age old belief that without a university degree one can not be successful financially and otherwise in life, but is that really true ?

What about those that have learning disabilities, are they doomed to be failures? Dyslexia, a condition that causes the inability to read or write it is known as a special reading disorder, it occurs in 10 to 20 percent of the world’s population and it has different levels of intensity.

One of the characteristics is having problem distinguishing the various sounds or phenoms that make up speech. It is rarely diagnosed and sufferers usually suffer the stigma of being labeled dumb or stupid and relegated to the background. Is there any fate for such people? If they can’t learn, read or write won’t they have difficulty making a living?

Apparently, the saying “when God takes something away , he gives something else” rings true in their case. For the first time, new research shows that entrepreneurs are five times more likely to suffer from dyslexia than your average citizen, some of the world’s leading entrepreneurs such as Sir Richard Branson, and Anita Roddick of The Body Shop allegedly suffer from dyslexia.

Branson ,whose Virgin empire includes Telecoms, Soft drinks, Air and Rail transport, Radio and a record company has a personal net worth of over £3 billion, he never walked the halls of a university and has admitted he's not too savy with accounting statements.

World renowned Public and motivational speaker Les Brown was labeled educable mentally retarded when he was in high school, today he earns millions every year from speaking engagements for executives of Fortune 500 companies.

It is said that Dyslexia forces people to hunt for creative ways to steer through life,ain’t that the truth.

As mentioned earlier there are different groups that individuals belong to, and parents need to discover what group their child belongs to and guide them toward that path. The blinders need to come off our eyes, the blinders that have given us tunnel vision, and brainwashed us into thinking that university education, is the only light at the end of the tunnel.

Those in the intellectual group will acquire the degrees at the Universities . “The technical” would hone their skills by attending vocational colleges where they can learn to become world class craftsmen, electricians, blacksmiths, masons,H20 transportation engineers(plumbers), etc. Vocations which are certainly not in short demand, especially in the home development and real estate business.

Those in the creative group need to hone their ingrown talent by attending a school for music and performing arts like Julliard where they can major in courses like dance, vocals, a specific instrument or music production. Or going to schools for radio, television and film, whichever is their preference and strength.

For the athletes, they need a sports academy, much like Aspire, a school in Qatar that trains it’s students to be professional athletes, at the same time giving them an education to fall back after their professional careers end or they choose not to go that way. A similar school was portrayed in the Australian teen drama SWEAT.

The essential in life, is a basic secondary school education, which should be standard for every child , after they’ve crossed that bridge each should discover their path , which only they can tread. But even Brian Tracy a world renowned business mind never finished high school and today is one of the most respected business minds in world, authored books that train Business school graduates and CEO of fortune 500 companies. Many of the worlds greatest minds from Henry Ford ,to Einstien and Edison performed poorly while in school,but came out and impacted the world in massive ways.

When we assume that failure in education or lack of a job in a Blue chip company is the end of the road;the question we should ask ourselves is,

Where would these people be

Legendary producer Quincy Jones ,who have brought us some of our most loved songs .

Muhammed Ali, the man that made boxing an art form, an eternal sports icon and a man that showed the world what unshakable confidence can do for your life.

Football sensation Cristiano Ronaldo who has lead his former team Manchester United to victory several times, and is carving his name in the football hall of fame.

Crooner Frank Sinatra, a kid from humble beginnings went to seal his name forever in the history of music and has spawned a string of imitators in Harry Connick Jnr, Michael Buble ,

Movie visionaries Francis Ford Coppola, Ridley Scott ,Alfred Hitchcock,Orson Wells are some of the greatest directors of all time.Quentin Tarantino , whose movie Pulp Fiction is listed in the top ten regularly of the imdb top 250 movies of all time, once worked as a video store clerk.


What if all these people decided to give up, because they felt they had no future without a university degree????

Some of the biggest companies in the world today, were founded by those who just had a dream. Some of them were dubbed stupid ,dumb or retarded by teachers. Some of them were doing great in school, but found no satisfaction from learning theories that were not applicable in the real world. Many of the founders of our most beloved brands started those companies out of a desire within them that could not be satisfied working for a pay check.

Now , don’t get this twisted, i am not knocking or discouraging formal education , i believe and encourage that every one has the minimum of a secondary school education, (high school education to the Americans, and O Levels to the Europeans) But from that point , each has to discover what they have the potential for, whether it be in the Art,Science, Business or Sports.

However ,even amongst the professionals, many of them have come out of those in the much awed “prestigious” professions to enormous success using their gifts.

Best selling author John Grisham was trained as a Lawyer, same thing goes for Michael Crichton , who was trained as a Doctor, he went on to become a best selling author and producer of the Emmy Award winning television show ER and many of his novels have been made into blockbuster movies including; Congo,Coma Sphere,Rising Sun ,Jurassic Park and others .

Have you heard of the shows ;Ally McBeal, The Practice, Boston Public, Boston Legal, the man behind them is David E Kelley ,he was working in a law firm when a t.v executive came across a script he had written, the rest is history.

Oscar nominated and Grammy Winner Will Smith had a full scholarship to Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT),but had no intention of going to College because of a dream he had to pursue.

Friends cast member Lisa Kudrow , graduated with a BSc in Biology with an intention to pursue a career in research.

We all know the success they have gone on to achieve , in the careers that their parents fought tooth and nail against.

There are several success stories of those that never got a formal education, one of them is hip hop icon Jay Z , one of the most recognized names in music. Born into a poor home in Brooklyn ,New York, he is a classic rags to riches story. Starting as a young hustling rapper on the streets from scratch he slowly began to build an empire that includes a chain of night clubs, a clothing line and alcoholic beverages, he is part-owner of the NBA team the New Jersey Nets is former head honcho of Def Jam Records and a long line up of endorsements, a club franchise, and real estate .He has a personal net worth of over $300 million and growing, not bad for a kid that never finished high school.

You may go on to say that, i have no talent .

Paris Hilton happens to be one of the most recognized faces on television. The young socialite is a tabloid favorite parties with A list celebrities, she has no talent to speak of, has failed at both a music and acting career, but she gets paid more than some professional speakers to make appearance at social events. She has discovered and harnessed her exhibitionist talent and gets paid up to $100,000 to smile and wave for less than an hour.

Even a blogger the self titled Perez Hilton( no relation) has turned his love for gossip into a money spinning venture. I’m not encouraging you to be the next Paris or Perez Hilton, my point is that every one has some form of talent, deep within them all you have to do is look hard enough. I mean, look at the Spice Girls,Jedward and some of the people that got their 15 minutes of fame on a talent or reality tv show.

Diablo Cody(Juno writer) went from a stripper to an Oscar Winning screenwriter, you may question the validity or that Oscar decision, but she has achieved what can be called a film makers fantasy. She's working closely with moguls like Spielberg,he went looking for her. Some people in the industry all their life would kill for such. If she can do that what stops you from being the next big thing in your industry?

It's not going to be easy, nothing worthwhile ever is. But just like a lump of coal has to undergo pressure to release the diamond within, as a caterpillar has to go through the cocoon to become a butterfly, there would be a process you may have to go through, to come out shining like the star you were born to be.

Today anyone that uses the internet is bound to have come across Yahoo, Google, and Facebook , these global companies were all founded , in college dorm rooms, and made their young creators billionaires before the age of thirty, so their is yet hope for the so called “nerds”(book worms) without musical or athletic talent

In conclusion I will continue to emphasize the need for a basic secondary school education, and then the discovery of one’s own path . I recommend two books,

Start Small Finish Big by Fred Deluca co founder of Subways who started the franchise as a teenager looking for a way to fund his college education

and

The Magic of thinking Big- by David Schwartz, this would change the way you see yourself, life, possibilities and where you could be in life ,if you have a mental and life paradigm shift.

I don't recommend them so that you start to pursue money, that is not what this is about, but to open your mind to possibilities, Business philosopher Jim Rohn was known to say

Set a goal to become a millionaire, not for the money,you can give that away if you want, but for the person that you would become (the character developed) )in the process of that goal.

BUT HE WARNS

beware of who you become in the process, never sell out(value,integrity,morals) while pursuing that goal

THE HAMSTER THEORY OF LIFE

OPPORTUNITY SEEKS OUT THE PREPARED MIND AND FINDS IT.

Imagine a hamster, that lives in a cage, and has an exercise wheel, a water trough and a constant supply of food . Like the hamster trapped in a cage with the exercise wheel .It burns a lot of energy, gains a lot of momentum but never goes anywhere. Constantly spinning in that wheel, no matter the energy or speed it gain it’s effort are in vain However if that hamster sees the cage door open, what should it do? What would you think of that hamster if he didn’t take the chance to escape while the door has been left open for him to leave. He starts to give the excuse that , he doesn’t know where his next meal is coming from at least here in the cage he is secure. What if there is a cat out there to eat me up. What if there is a rat that has it in for me out there? He analyzes and decides that he likes where he is and is not going to out to the big bad world. Sadly that is how many of us are. We work harder and harder and we just don’t seem to be cutting it .Even with the ever increased salary it seems that our bills just get more and more, and we need another raise to meet those.

Like the hamster in that wheel, we gain momentum, we strive harder, but we are going nowhere fast and soon burn out from sheer exhaustion.We then sit back and fantasize about the day we would be financially free and live without the worry of money. It has been found that the wealth of the world lies with less than 20% of the population.

It’s an entrepreneur’s world and the world does not give way to those who just sit back and fantasize, it gives way to those that have a vision and run after it with everything the have got within them. They give up all sense of security and safety, they escape their comfort zones and leave themselves vulnerable to whatever comes their way during the pursuit of their goals and dreams. They give up their jobs and they plunge in after those dreams that tug at their heart strings. The stories of them that have succeeded are all around us . KFC, Google, Virgin, Ford,Kinkos, Subways etc. These are men and women who were sick and tired of just getting by .Broke busted and disgusted with having more month at the end of the money. Being in a JOB Just Over Broke. James Allen said “The vision that you glorify in your mind the ideal that you enthrone in your heart this you will build your life by this you will become”. This is exactly how these men and women reached where they are today. Many of them came from impoverished backgrounds , but they filled their hearts and minds with goals and despite all the opposition, Despite all those around them that said they could not do it ,we all know where they are today. It does not take a genius to realize that paid employment is never going to give you financial freedom. But like the hamster we are scared of what is out there, we are scared to launch into the deep and take our chances. One thing has to be emphasized though , a second thing that makes many of us different from these men and women who have achieved greatness is our mindset and way of thinking. Intelligence and academic achievement in life does not guarantee financial success. Think about it how many Professors or Doctorate holders d you know that are millionaires. How many of your friends who graduated as Valedictorian are financially wealthy? So that settles it that Diplomas and Degrees are not a determinant factor to success. Motivational speaker and business trainer Jim Rohn says “A formal education will make you a living, but self education will make you a fortune” He also advices Work harder on yourself, than you do on your job.

Robert Kiyosaki,Donald Trump,Bill Gates are some of the most successful men in the world . They are all advocates of personal development and what keeps them at the top of their game is that they are always reading. The constantly feed their minds by reading books, attending seminars , consulting with experts. While the rest of us would rather spend money on expanding our wardrobe or splashing out on that new car we passed by on the dealership. Yet we complain that our big chance hasn’t come by and those guys got a lucky break. Yes they did , if you define it as Labor Under Correct Knowledge.

They learned the principles of success and the applied them. Too many of us want the money but are not ready to learn the steps to get it for ourselves. You have got to build the mind before you build the money. If we can learn from the experts we can do what they did and achieve what they achieved. Theodore Roosevelt said “Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much because they live in the grey twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat”.

DO TODAY WHAT OTHERS WON’T , TO HAVE TOMORROW WHAT OTHERS DON’T

It’s an everyday conscious effort to free our minds from the years of prisoner programming for “job security”,We wont master it in one day,but let’s move forward together and go out on a limb, after all, that is where the fruit is.

Home based business or Network Marketing(MLM) have given financial freedom to more people than any other industry ever has. In a book co authored by
Trump & Kiyosaki , they recommend it as a quickest means to financial freedom, Kioyaski has a variety of lectures on it, describing it as "the perfect business", Trump believes in it so much he started his own.
If you want to invest in one, do your due diligence and investigate which would work best for you.


investigate before you invest

Find a company whose products/services you can get passionate about and you tostay for the long term partnership. A great team that can help you towards achieving your financial freedom.

There are many companies out there, travel, nutrition, telecoms and a variety of other products, each with it's own unique compensation plan.


If you are interested in searching for a home based business with a great team and plan, where everything is done on the internet.

You can take a look at this video http://www.myfortuneroadmap.com/   and once you make a decision, you can sign up at http://www.harvest.lgnprosperity.com/


I leave you with the words of those that have made it happen big time

Decisions decide wealth- Tony Robbins

It's not in the blowing of the winds, but in the setting of the sails- Jim Rohn
Sometimes you have to jump, and grow your wings on the way down- Ray Bradbury

REMEMBER, if you do what you have always done, you will get what you have alway got.

ENEMY OF THE ORDINARY

“One machine can do the work of fifty men . No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man”.-Elbert Hubbard (1856-1915)-A Thousand and One Epigrams

The Longman Active Study Dictionary defines the word Ordinary as:
1)Not special, unusual or different from other things.

2)It can also be understood to be unremarkable: not remarkable or special in any way, and therefore uninteresting and unimpressive.

I despise the ordinary, the ordinary never gets anything done. The ordinary is bland and is satisfied with just getting things done but not done properly.Many of us had parents that insisted that if we are going to do the chores they must be done to the best of our ability and not nonchalantly. Nothing in this world that has ever been worthy of recognition was done by an ordinary person. Persistence, tenacity and perseverance channelled by vision have been what has made impact in the world.

The seven wonders of ancient world, North America’s Mount Rushmore , Italy’s Sistine chapel , the great wall of China, The Sears and Petronas towers, the Sydney Opera house are all works of extra-ordinary men.

Beethoven,Mozart ,Handel were men whose music still influences performing artists today over 200 years later. Literary works by Alexander Dumas, Arthur Conan Doyle, Ian Fleming ,Shakespeare and Charles Dickens are still relevant and several have been turned into motion pictures centuries after the fact.

Alexander the Great, Napoleon Bonaparte, Hannibal of Carthage remain some of the greatest military leaders in the battle history. Their battle strategies are still studied in many military schools all over the world.

Muhammad “The greatest” Ali , didn’t get to be the living legend he is today by being an ordinary boxer, he turned the “brutish” sport of boxing into an art form , displaying his unique talents in and out of the ring, fascinating both his fans and critics. Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King, Mohandas Gandhi were extraordinary leaders that went to astonishing lengths to make an impact on their nations. They saw a need for change and became they vessel for it, one can only wonder what the world would be like if not for such great men

Stand out from the crowd, think out of the box is my motto. So many people are miserable, stuck doing jobs they hate because they did the conventional like they were told, go to school, get a good job, save for retirement. There are so many people out there that could have been the next , Stevie Wonder, Michael Jordan Richard Branson or John Grisham but are stuck in the rat race, grinding away at that wheel, going no where slowly . How many people have within them that book they’ve been wanting to write or the business idea that they have been to afraid to carry out because of all the nay-sayers around them .

Yahoo, Google, Face book and You Tube are some of the biggest companies in the world today, with billion dollar net worth, three of them were started in college dorm rooms . Now their founders could have waited till they graduated college and settled for nice paying jobs and built a 401k, but because they took the road less travelled and now never have to worry about finances for the rest of their life, and guess what! they were all under the age of 30 when they hit their first million.

Many people have greatness within them but yet they are frustrated by their 9 to 5 jobs that give them no satisfaction but choose this life for the “job security” it offers them. As a creative person It is beyond me staying in a job that has me going over the motions day in day out. Such a life is the reason many people either commit suicide or loose their sanity. They hate their monotonous jobs and this starts a chain reaction that affects the rest of their life affecting their relationships, health and general well state of being.

DARE TO BE DIFFERENT, when the history books are open, only those that were extra-ordinary are remembered, even the exceptionally silly or stupid are remembered, nobody ever remembers the ordinary.

“Without the mediocrity of the ordinary, the excellence of the extraordinary can not be acknowledged”.

It is now up to the individual to choose where to belong

SIT DOWN AND LEARN FROM AN INTELLIGENT BLACK MAN

As a born and breed African kid, many people are surprised when they meet me. They are surprised by my articulation, and my command of the English language ,bewildered that i know more than the words "give us free" and that i don't talk like the characters from "The God's must be crazy". They are marveled at my exposure ,knowledge of their history and understanding of culture, when they don't have an inkling on mine. Luckily for me, i have not had the experience that many of my friends have had.When some ignoramuses come up to them and ask if they had pet lions, or lived in trees and wore clothes when they were in Africa, and how they able to learn English.

Africans perhaps more than any other race have suffered stereotypes from Hollywood. For many years movies about "Africa" have been one dimensional, and portray Africans as; limited thinking, quarter illiterate "yes massah" characters.

Heavy caricature ,often imbeciles with no thoughts of their own. When that is not the case, they are swinging from trees, or running around half naked in loin cloth, movies like "King Solomon's Mines" Stereotypes and profiling is one of the reasons that society is still where it is today. The blanketing and general statement in a recent article, that black people do not read is one from which i beg to differ.

There was a recent article on how black people don't read, now that is as crazy a statement as all Chinese men know Kung Fu. It's an ignorant , unfounded and unfair generalization . I am in my twenties and for as long as i can remember ,books have been a huge part of my life. I would have to plea guilty as charged if accused of being a book worm. As a child i read book by Enid Blyton, Roald Dahl,Judy Blume and Alan Ahlberg,in my teenage years i moved on to Jeffery Archer and John Grisham as an adult i read both fiction and non fiction ranging from David Balddachi , to Dr Myles Munroe ,Jack Canfield and currently , The Road Less traveled by
M Scott Peck.
I am more than just literate, i can intelligently hold my own in virtually any conversation , i may not be an expert , or be broad on the topic , but at least i can make some form of contribution, and i have MANY friends with that same capability.

-We chew over if Japan would be the economic force it is today if Hiroshima has never happened.

-Postulate on the application on Sun Tzu's "The Art of War" in modern day business.

-Discuss on Greek and Roman mythology .

- Deliberate on the possibilities of time travel based on the "Theory of relativity".

-Analyze business lessons from Vito and Michael Corleone.

-Debate on if economic growth and prosperity in the USA during the Clinton administration, could really be attributed to him or the dot com revolution that happened during his tenure.

-Wonder if the USA would have become involved in World War 2 if not for Pearl Harbour, and what would the world be like if Hitler had succeeded in his campaign.

Was the Cold War really about communism, or truly a fight between the USSR and USA on who was the Alpha male.....(Hey! Who mentioned ROCKY over there.)

to relax we can switch over to mundane issues

We can equally discuss over Cristiano Ronaldo ,and if he has erased the legendary name from his Brazilian predecessor .

If Muhammad Ali , and Michael Jordan still hold on to the legendary status we hold them up to in their respective sports.

If Bruce Lee would beat Jet Li in a street fight ?

Why Batman though the only human(without powers) in the Justice League is the most feared and respected?

If Robin Hood and King Arthur truly existed ,and if not, how did they become so big and so legendary that we think they actually did exist?

The lessons of tenacity, perseverance and never give up mentality that we learn from Top Cat,Wile E Coyote and Yogi Bear?

Ask our selves based on the evidence if a lazy animal like the Lion is truly the King of the Jungle and not the Tiger.

Why people hold a vindictive claim that abstinence doesn't work , because they won't admit that they like sex too much to give it up.

If He Man would be able to kick Lion O's ass in hand to hand combat.

Would Naruto be as cool, if they spoke in English?

When would Samuel L Jackson stop playing the Angry black male card, (think about it, what was the last L Jackson movie you saw that he did not YELL!!!!)

AND

Which movie between "The God Father" and "Citizen Kane" is truly the Greatest movie Of All Time?

We discuss both real issue and mundane things, and i believe that any discussion that comes up, to a very reasonable extent, we can contribute without looking foolish.

It's unfortunate that in the 21st century, with the wide range of knowledge and exposure to the world available at the stroke of a keyboard(a global village), people still can't see beyond their little world. Many people still see the continent of Africa as one huge Safari, where the animals run wild right outside your front door.

With National Geographic,The History Channel,Animal Planet, and the many educational channels, many people in the western world, by western world i am referring to Europe and North America, think that Africa is a country. Hence we hear them say "I'm going to Africa", "we want to help Africa". Thanks to Oxfam and Feed the Children, (all good causes on their own), many still walk around thinking that ALL African children are bloated bellied and starving.

That perception is like a foreigner thinking he can learn about life in the UK by watching Big Brother .

The generalization that black people don't read is like thinking Indians randomly burst into song and dance in the middle of the street or that all American's behave like the guests on Jerry Springer.

We are all individuals and can not classified by the actions of a few. Unlike many people of both races whose idea of classic literature is Katie Price's or Jade Goody's biography, i prefer to read something that would actually add some value to my life and future.

A while back,a friend of mine was livid about the launch of MTV Base Africa, which played about 99% Hip Hop and R&B. What right did they have to restrict our music to only those categories. This is another stereotype that is all around the world. The assumption that black people only like those two genres of music. What about Alternative,Rock ,Pop,Swing, what makes them think we don't listen to that?

Now i don't know about anyone else, but i listen to a whole range of music. I croon to Frank Sinatra's "I got you under my skin",karaoke to Air Supply's "All out of love" and Barry Manilow's "Copacabana". Back in my University days some of my friends called me a "white boy" just because i loved listening to Nickelback ,Linkin Park , Blink 182 amongst others. When the truth is i can scream to "Smells of teen spirit" as well as bust the mic on "Hit em up". I can serenade to Barry White as well as lay back and appreciate Chopin's Symphony.

It's ignorant and unfair to classify people by what we see on television. Yes there are starving kids in Africa, but there are also homeless, malnourished kids in the UK ,USA and Eastern Europe. Like there are different social classes (lower,middle ,upper, rich , stinking rich) in other parts of the world, the same exists in the nations of Africa.We have sky scrapers , and no we do not live in mud huts. We have cities and we hail taxi's , take the bus, drive drop tops, and 4x4s. We hustle by day and play by night, have night-clubs, Pubs and raves. We go on dates, hang out at the mall and catch the latest movie at the cinema.

The Africa that most of the world sees, is either news reports on war , famine and starving kids. The Africans that they portray the dictators and those who even if they had a transplant from Einstein , wouldn't be able to find their way out of a paper bag.

They fail to mention that it was a Nigerian ,Philip Emeagwali , that wrote the formula which is the back bone on which the Internet runs, he has won numerous awards (computer scientist of the year at least three times)back to back , and has been awarded the science world's version of a Nobel prize .

Wole Soyinka that won a Nobel Prize in the 80's is still one of the most respected literary minds in the world and is on the lecture circuit world wide. There are many more achievers too numerous to mention.

American writer W.E Du Bios is known to have said

“Europe has never produced and never will in our day bring forth a single human soul who cannot be matched and over-matched in every line of human endeavor by Asia and Africa”.

Does it matter that i am able to answer 90% of the questions on The Weakest Link on auto pilot, or 70% of Jeopardy and Who Wants to be a Millionaire by reflex. Is it a matter of my race that i like the music of The Temptations as much as i like Franki Valli & the Four Seasons ? Or that i have no rhythm whatsoever despite the fact that "ALL black people can dance". No.

Everything i am ,is because of who i am. I have the knowledge i have , because as an individual i take interest in those things. Just like not everyone in the world can roll their tongue, not everyone is interested in the things i am ,or has the variety of taste that i do.

It is my individual choice to listen to Both Marvin Gaye and Dean Martin, George Benson and John Mayer, Tracy Chapman and Alanis Morrisette. The fact that i can answer most questions on quiz shows is because of all the time i spent an unhealthy amount of time indoors watching documentaries, reading journals, encyclopaedia's, news reports and believe it or not sitcoms and Looney Toons cartoons.


My exposure and knowledge does not make me better than anyone else, or smarter ,because most of my life if you wanted to give me a seizure all you had to do was mention MATHS and i would quiver like a leaf . And those that, do know maths and came out with a first class degrees, may not be able to engage in some of the discussions that i mentioned earlier.

I still love cartoons as much as i did when i was eight years old. I still get cracked up when i watch Looney Toons,The Mask or The Flintstones .I still think that Top Cat is one of the coolest fictional characters ever created after Jason Bourne ,Michael Corleone,Chilli Palmer,Cool Hand Luke, and Captain Jack Sparrow(ok, he falls down quite far,but you get the point)

Does this make me immature or childish, you can think so if you want to ,but the fact is that, most of the classical music i know ,i first heard in Tom&Jerry and Bugs Bunny cartoons. Many of the words in my vocabulary were those i heard in cartoons and checked up in the dictionary, my home boy Daffy Duck taught me the words Stupendous,Obnoxious and Stuffy.

I remember i got into a serious and lively discussion with two other guys, one a medical student and an engineer. This went on for several hours and went into critical analysis mode, the engineers sister came round to listen in, and was flabbergasted when she discovered we had been talking about the evolution of the X-men and why Wolverine is not the leader. She couldn't believe it, grown ass men! , Graduates! Wasting their time with such irrelevant musing. She then asked us to please be quiet as she plopped down on the couch to catch up with an EASTENDERS omnibus.

We should not allow our perceptions and limited exposure to allow us to classify people or pigeon hole them into a category. We should take every person we meet as an individual and not a summary of the movie characters we have watched.Not all Chinese men are the next Bruce Lee, nor are Indians shop keepers. Not all Africans are starving nor do we run after animals chucking spears and clicking or tongues as we talk. Hollywood is not the place to learn about people's culture, due to the fact that they are of a country that has no culture of it's own, and a people whose names don't mean didly squat.

When you assume, you make an ass out of u and me, and we all know what assumption is the mother of.