Hench the theory of the “7 year itch” The only thing that can keep a relationship going after that is the foundation it was built on , which comes back to the friendship I’ve been talking about.
I guess I can understand the concept, in my case as a man, meeting a hot new girl , and going though the process of “pulling” , there’s a lot of excitement in that. After all, there’s nothing like being the one with the new hottie in town. But just because our body is saying YES, do we do so?
If i have diabetes and that pack of Haribos or Ben & Jerry’s is calling out, Do i answer?
Whatever i discover along the line upon taking that action, I have only myself to blame, cause I jumped into this relationship head first (or otherwise) with my eyes closed.
Taking another analogy from the movies, this time being, 'Brown Sugar'(Taye Diggs
,Sanaa Lathan
), the two life long friends eventually fell in love with each other, because no one knew them the way they knew each other. The people that pure physical attraction brought them to didn’t work out, because those couldn’t see beyond what they could see and “feel”.YES, i know, life doesn’t always work out that way, or have a Hollywood ending,
YES i know it's not a science you can sit down and draw on a chalk board, but why bother with all the repeated heart wrenching, when a little patience and sound thinking can change the entire equation to your favor.
I'm not saying that physical attraction is not important I appreciate Beauty,and finding a woman attractive . Attraction definitely has it's place, i'll be the last person to deny that. I have female friends i find VERY attractive, but that does not mean im going to chase them for a relationship based only on attractiveness(id be in deep trouble if it were so). SO,please, im not saying attraction is not important.
What I'm just saying,is that we should not leap into a relationship with a person whose character we have not discovered. A person we have not built at least some level of friendship with, because we have been conditioned by high school TV shows and rom coms to move on impulse based on physical attraction. There may and will be cases where the couple go on to dig deep and actually do get to know each other and it becomes solid,but we all know that is not often the case.Not EVERY mutual attraction means a relationship should result.
It's not an absolute science, but it certainly beats crying in your cheerios, because you've been dumped and replaced as a result of that very same 'impulse factor'. There may be cases where impulse has lead to a great marriage, but then again those are very minute cases in contrast to those that don't.
I personally don't believe in recreational dating, dating without a purpose, or simply doing it cos you feel it's the thing to do and want to have someone to make out with(snog),bump hips and have your arm around on a weekend.
I believe you can get to know a person, and have a better chance of knowing the real person as a friend or neutrally , when neither one of us,is not putting on a show for dating impressions.
Dating should have a destination,which is usually courtship and then to tying the knot. (a topic for another day) YES, not all of them will end up in marriage, but at least you'll know you thought it through before taking a swan dive into it.
Take a look at any Happy successful marriage relationship and you would mostly likely find out that they’d reveal that they have a great friendship.When I say successful ,just still being together is not in that definition, THAT, is called being flatmates. There's a difference between existing together and living together.
Which is why it makes no sense for a husband or wife to have a best friend that is a confidant outside, but that is a topic for another day.
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